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My nine-year marriage has been rocky for quite some time, and my husband and I periodically talk about divorce.
A friend told me I should stick it out a while longer since there are benefits to being married ten years or longer. In some states, such as California, in a marriage of ten years or longer the court retains he right to order that alimony be paid to the lesser-earning spouse for as long as she needs it, if the other spouse has the ability to pay.
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If you are divorcing a person with great future earnings potential, consider sticking it out a little longer or delay finalizing the divorce until after the ten-year mark.
Ten years is also important if your spouse is in the military and will be eligible for retirement pay.
If you do not know the rules in your state, you could unintentionally lose your right to alimony.
We've put together resources and links for where to get help.
If you were married for at least ten years while he was on active duty, you will qualify for direct enforcement, which means your portion of retirement pay will be paid directly to you by the military finance office. I have been married for almost 10 years now my husband has been in and out of jail most of that time we have 4 children that I support a loan on Social Security disability I wanted to know if it was better for me to wait till after the 10 years which would be in January coming uphe verbally abused me mentally abused me any kind of abuse you can think of I went through it he was on drugs he got convicted of a felony which he drug me into which also gave me a felony and I didn’t even do anything I lost our house or car everything meanwhile still on disability and trying to survive off of 0 a month to take care of our for children he will not be out of jail for another 4 years but I’m still being verbally abused through the phone told that I’m going to be killed when he is released um I want to get a divorce because I can’t handle it anymore and I want to know if I would be able to collect any type of alimony from him I want to go after child support but can’t do so until he is released from jailand even at that time I don’t know what I would be able to get since I don’t know what type of work is going to do or if you give it to work at all on the books or is he in a try to just work without like under the table without anybody knowing I’m in a bad situation I do receive Social Security like I said and I’m afraid that he’s going to try to collect from me is there a law that protects me from him touching my social security because I can barely afford to survive now I had a broken neck a broken back I had surgery on my neck and my back and I’m fully disabled this is very hard for me even though I love him so much is just I can’t deal with the abuse anymore and I want it over and done with so are there any suggestions of how I should go about this do I need to wait even though I know I know he doesn’t have any income right now or should I have it put in the divorce that once he’s released he needs to start supporting me and the kids what are your suggestions I live in the state of North Carolina anyone please I’m crying out for help!
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